Remember the last time I told you I had an announcement? And I told you I quit my “real” job to blog full time? And then I stayed at work for 3 months while they found a replacement for me? (What? No. I’m not bitter, why?) Yeah… well I have an even better announcement now! (Also I’m finally blogging full time. Yay!)
This one is way more exciting. I’m PREGNANT! That’s right, me and Mr. Table are expecting our first baby in June and we could not be more thrilled! We have known since we got married that we wanted to start a family fairly young. And since I found out I have a BRCA gene mutation, that kind of sped things up a little more. Plus, I’ve been motherly since I was 12 and we just thought it was time. We were so fortunate that it didn’t take long for us to get pregnant, but that doesn’t mean the process was perfect and it was all sunshine and roses for us.
After struggling with an eating disorder for years, I quietly wondered if I would even be able to get pregnant. I never had regular periods, even when I was on birth control, so that question always lingered in my mind. As soon as I had my implant removed, my cycle was like clockwork, so that quieted my fears a little bit. Then back in September, I was late and decided to go ahead and take a test before the long Labor Day weekend. It was positive.
I didn’t want to get to excited. I wondered if this could be real. And then a few days later, I started bleeding and had serious cramps. I called my doctor and they wanted to do some blood work to make sure everything was alright. They found that my pregnancy hormone levels were really low, but they were still indicative of a pregnancy. They advised me to wait 72 hours and then do the tests again. The second time around, my levels had dropped indicating that I was, in fact, not pregnant. What had happened is what they call a chemical pregnancy. It’s where the egg gets fertilized but doesn’t implant properly in the uterus. I was told that it is actually quite common and I probably took a pregnancy test too soon. Mr. Table and I were disappointed, but the only thing to do was to keep trying. At least we knew his reproductive system was working correctly, right? I still had a little fear that mine wasn’t though.
I don’t tell you all of this to scare anyone or for sympathy. I just want you all to know that whatever happens on your journey, you are not alone. Not everyone has a smooth ride to their first child, and I know I am lucky that mine was certainly much easier than many. Just know that there is hope no matter what.
Anyway, a month later, I was late again. Cautiously optimistic, I bought two pregnancy tests and waited 10 days past my regular start date to take one. Again, it was positive. Of course, I was excited, but want to wait a few days before I took another one, just in case. 3 days later, the second test immediately showed two distinct lines. Holy cow, we are actually having a baby!
It felt strange being excited about having a baby when it still didn’t feel real. I had gotten excited once and been let down. Maybe I shouldn’t get too hopeful again. Mr. Table felt the same way. We wanted to wait until the second trimester to tell our family and friends, just to be sure.
Reality set in soon enough when I started feeling sick all day every day. Scrolling through my Instagram feed was torture, and trying to think about which recipe I was going to make next made me gag. Not a fun time to be a food blogger. It was a struggle to get out of bed and get to my office job before 10 am. When I got there, I would walk around like a zombie for a couple hours, then go home and take a 3-hour nap before mustering the courage to eat dinner, then go to sleep again. For about 2 months. I have major admiration for all of you mamas out there who worked full time while being pregnant. Y’all are my heroes. It seems like my life motto for the whole first trimester was, “I can’t even,” in the most literal way.
But finally, some of the sickness and fatigue have subsided and we got to break the news to our families over Thanksgiving. And we feel like we can actually feel really excited now. We are going to be parents! Also, I am hungry ALL. THE. TIME. Good thing it’s the holiday season and I have endless amounts of yummy things around.
We don’t know the sex of the baby yet, but we will find out at our 20-week ultrasound. As long as it’s a healthy baby, we don’t really care whether it is a he or a she. We are just taking this journey one day at a time and trying to take it in as best we can. For now, I am welcoming any advice for first-time mamas-to-be. I’ll take all the help I can get! And I promise I won’t turn Lively Table into a mommy blog. I’m still here to share simple, real-food recipes for you and not for your toddler. There are lots of other great bloggers with ideas for your child, so I’ll just stay in my own lane here on Lively Table. And if you do want baby updates, I’m sure there will be plenty over on my Instagram!
Thank you to Amber at Honeybee Photography for capturing our special moment!